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I grew up in a very abusive home. My real father was physically abusive to the point of messing up my hips kicking me across a room after throwing me into one of those huge pot planters and breaking it against my back. When I was a child, I thought it was my fault, I prayed to God constantly and asked him to protect me. My mother remarried, and my 1st stepfather was a Satanic, black High priest. I was sexually abused but kept it to myself, because I was afraid to tell anyone, I was afraid the threats were true. My mother seemed to be in a trance most of the time when things were going on, I dealt with it by pretending to be 2 people as a child, one a good one where all the happy things happened and the bad child where all the ugly things happened. I was used in Satanic rituals. I loved the Lord from a young age, but I thought there was no chance for me. I thought because of what had happened that the Lord wouldn't want me, that I was ugly and unfit for the Lord. My mother remarried a 3rd time to my DAD now. I say dad, because he is in the truest sense of the word a father. He never touched me, never hit me, encouraged me and told me I could become whatever I set my mind on. I still had a hole deep in my heart as a teenager, from all the ugliness in my life. I joined the military because I wanted to serve my country, I was naive in a lot of ways but pride for my country was important to me...I wanted to make a difference. That is where I met my husband and fell in love. For the first time in my life I met a man that loved me for me, I put him through alot at first to test him to see if he would care for me, and he never gave up. We managed out of 300 people to be 2 of 6 to be stationed in Hawaii, he and I believe the Lord picked us for each other. At this time of our marriage something was still missing, I was still depressed,(suicidal many times) still had a huge hole in my life, had my 3 beautiful children, and yet, it helped I still had that uncompleteness in my life. Also the demons that I had dealt with earlier in my life kept tormenting me, and I do mean demons. It got so bad one night I called my dad on the phone and crying to him told him the demons wouldn't leave me alone, he told me to call the 700 club, and I thought, yeah right, but I was desperate so I ran to a payphone and called their 800 number. This wonderful Christian woman prayed with me. She told me about what I was going through without me having to tell her, it was awesome, after I prayed with her, I felt the burden leave me, I have never been tormented by demons since, God had answered my prayers. He set me free. He has healed me emotionally slowly over time and has helped me in so many ways with my marriage, children, and in peace and happiness. At one time when I couldn't hardly ever sleep, or was afraid of noises in the night, the Lord has given me peace and trust in him and his angels to protect me and my family. I realized as a Christian that he has been with me all of my life, watching over me, because if he hadn't I wouldn't be here today, most people that would have had the type of physical beatings that I have would have been dead as an adult, much less as a 7 year old child until the age of 11. The Lord watched over me, and helped me to be more loving of others to understand and forgive those that have hurt me, and to pray for them. I feel sorry for people like that because their life is horrible they have no fulfillment with out the Lord. Just as my life was empty and terrifying without him. Romans 5:1-11 The Lord has given me reason to rejoice, to have peace and happiness. And although I have gone through much in my life, I am thankful that he brought me through all of it to become his child, and to help others where and when I can. I am blessed with a Godly husband who was saved about 5yrs after me, and 3 beautiful children whom I love, 1 ask all of you to pray for, because he hasn't made his choice to follow the Lord, but I never give up hope, if anyone can help him it is the Lord. Just remember the Lord takes those unwanted, unworthy, and cleanses them, makes them whole, makes them his and gives them peace, joy, and love. I hope this helps someone who may be wondering if the Lord can help them...anything no matter great or small God wants to help you, but you have to take that first step and ask him into your life, ask him to forgive you and ask him for a relationship through Christ's sacrifice for our behalf. Click HERE to return to the edited story Click HERE to create a banner that links to this story! Your e-mail address will be kept private!
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