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My Personal Testimony: “Why Me?” I am the first child and only son born to my parents, yet I lived the life of a homosexual for thirty agonizing years both in and out of the church. Two men raped me. The devil used them to trap me because I wanted the love of my father. A seed of sexual, moral, and emotional destruction was planted in my life. Since I could not get it from dad, I turned to other men. I felt this was the only way I was going to bond with a man. Later, two women also raped me. I was in church for years and would always hear the devil say to me, “God made a mistake when He made you a boy. That is why girls do not like you; people make fun of you; and your father does not want anything to do with you. You are different”, (subliminal suggestions). People did not help either, especially church folks and family members. After constantly being called a “sissy” and a “faggot”, sooner or later your life is bound to become a self-fulfilling prophecy, (Proverbs 18:21). I began to live the words that were imparted into my spirit. I wanted to touch and feel on boys; I wanted to act like a girl. I remember wearing my mother’s shoes and dresses and putting on her makeup and wigs. It felt natural. As an adolescent, I had low self-esteem. I did not feel I was good at anything. I did not play sports, but I loved church. You could not get me away from it. Nevertheless, I was extremely feminine. People would say, “Why don’t you act like a boy!” But, no one would take the time to show me how, not even the saints. I remember telling people when I get older I was going to have a sex change operation. I started smoking cigarettes, doing drugs, was a prostitute while being homeless, engaging in sexual acts with boys, in and out of the church, and getting involved in pornography and different forms of witchcraft. I always wanted to be saved. I loved the Bible. I thought it was the greatest book ever written. Thank God for the Word. If I did not have the Word of God within me in the midst of my struggles, I would be destroyed today. I was engaged 6 times to 5 different ladies trying to find my identity. For years I would fast and pray, constantly seeking God for my deliverance. After the fifth engagement, I convinced myself I would remain celibate and single and do God’s will. But, in order to God’s will, you have to do it God’s way. The fulfillment of my deliverance began in October 1995, when I attended” Manpower” conference hosted by Bishop TD Jakes. The theme that year was, “Loose the Man and Let Him Go”. It was not until we were on our way back from the conference, that God began to deal with me about His will for my life. Once I began to submit to the voice of the Lord, my life took on a whole new meaning. When we arrived in New York, I was walking in total victory. Two years later, the Lord blessed me to marry one of the greatest women in the world. Deliverance does not happen overnight, it is an ongoing process. Nevertheless, it is mine in Jesus’ name! Although I am free from the bondage of homosexuality, I have discovered that the fight is not over. The devil is still busy; he is not through tempting me. According to Luke 4:13, we have to continue to crucify the flesh, denounce the works of darkness in our lives and let Christ reign supreme and complete on a daily basis. Yes, there is help. Yes, there is hope. Yes, you can walk in total victory and freedom in Christ Jesus. (Romans 8:1) Rev.Dr.Walter L. Davis, III is the founder and pastor of the City of Faith Tabernacle, Church of God in Christ, Inc., Bay Shore, New York. He is married to the anointed Evangelist Maereatha G. Davis for four years. They have one daughter, Yasmine Lauren Preston-Davis. Click HERE to return to the edited story Click HERE to create a banner that links to this story! Your e-mail address will be kept private!
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These testimonies are not intended to provide |
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