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I have been a saved Christian since I was 16. I was born and raised in the Church of the Nazarene. Until recently I never knew the bondage that Satan held me in and never knew the total, contantly abiding joy that true freedom in Christ brings. I read, or rather used to read, alot. Not the books a Christian should read. I filled my mind with the modern novels that were full of explicit sexual scenes that I know more about human sexuality than is good for me to know. I would buy the books 4 and 5 at a time. Recently, I had taken to hiding them from my husband, not letting him know I had bought more books. Never before had my reading and my reading material been an issue between me and God. In March, our church held revival services. I knew that God was working on me about something but chose not to see what was before my eyes. The books. I prayed all day Sunday during the services for a servant's heart and for nothing to be between me and God. The books kept floating thru my mind. Finally I began to get the message. So I began to pray for the sure knowledge that this was what He was dealing with me about. I asked for clear knowledge, no question in my mind of what He was telling me. I wrote to my mentor and asked her opinion. I talked with friends at work. Still no clear cut answers. I wrestled with it all day that Monday, desparately asking God for some sort of sign. I didn't want to let it go. I kept telling myself that some were OK, they didn't have the explicitness in them. The author seemed to allude to it and passed over it. She "shut the door" on the lovers. Monday evening at the service, the evangelist kept talking about pornography and how it was so insidious. She said the even in the churches people were bound by it. The more she spoke, the more I knew what God was telling me. When I finally accepted His direction and made my decision to do His bidding, I couldn't wait to get home to carry it out. My husband asked if I had to do it that night, and I told him that I felt that if I didn't I would never have the chance to again. I HAD to obey. We got home and as he put our son to bed, I began throwing away books, boxes and boxes of books. I filled up the trash can. As the books went into the trash, it felt as if chains were being cut. When the last one went, a weight that I never even dreamed I was carrying fell away. I experience such joy. Joy that I don't even have the words to describe. Joy that no matter what I face, I am eternally OK. I was FREE! And such glorious freedom. I hadn't even realized I was in such bondage. As I threw the books away, I prayed that God would change my desires and interests. He has answered that prayer too. I don't even care to walk down the book aisle at the store. I don't even reach for the new ones on the shelves at the checkout counters. My reading is for uplifting inspirational material. I don't read the Word of God as much as I should yet, but I am reading and will read more. Click HERE to return to the edited story Click HERE to create a banner that links to this story! Your e-mail address will be kept private!
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