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Dear Brother and sister in jesus Christ, My english is not that good but I hope you will understand My name is Gino Wanga born on the 29th of august 1965 and I live in Holland. My adress is Zuylesteinstraat 17 1333 CX Almere Buiten. I am 34 jears old and I am married to a beatifull wife and have a son wich is not mine but I love him like he is mine. I like to tell you my story How God has helped me and still do and how Jesus has save me from a cruel and dirty world and how he gave me what I have never expexted in my life. At the age of 8 I was brutaly raped by my uncle and that went on for 10 yaers long. I could't stop it. In the beginning it was once in a month and than it was every week for more than 10 years. I became a young men without knowing who I am. boundless and with lack of love.I didn,t have any idea what love is, mine idea of love is hat there is always an pricetack on it. At home I did.t have anyone who I can talk to. My mother and father were very busy with there spirituals things . I was humiliated by my parents. I always heard from them that it was better if I was dead so they can have a happy life. I was a mistake ,the disgrace of the family. My mother told my family ,aunts and neeces and nephews never to talk to me because I 'm the disgrace of the family When my father beats me I use to run to my mother for protection but she grap me and hold me, so my father can beats me more. She used to scream " I wish you were dead I wish you were dead. I had to sleep outside . When they have visitors I had to go to my bedroom and stay there because they were ashamed of me. Sundays is it famulyday and my mom used to cook something special for the family, but I never was part of that Sundays festivity.My mom used to throw food for me on a plate on the ground . I never told my family that I was raped by my uncle....it was my secret and my pain I caried a long long time alone. In that time I was afraid I got pregnant , noone had never told me that a man can not have babys. At the age of 14 a became a alcoholist. I used to drink my pain away . I felt very lonely and I tried several time to put a end of al my suffering. The only thing I wanted was to be loved. I was seaerching for love , but everywhere people uses me and I let them because that is what I know. I was very aware of my gayfeelings and at the age of 18 I came out of the closet telling my parents and everyone that I was gay. The whole family included my uncle who has raped me told me to stay far away of the family because now I surely am the disgrace of the family. One nignt I came home and I overheard my mother telling my father that if a policemen comes and tell her the news that her son is dead because of a caraccident she will be happy because I was gone. That hurts ..... it was like a knife cutting through my heart. I decided to go to Holland And at the age of 20 I left Curacao and emigrate to holland thinking that I can find my happiness. But the opposite was thrue. I came in a land where I didn't know noone. I didn't have any family or friends. It was very hard for me . I felt very lonely and angry at life that life has been so unfaithfull to me . The only thing that went throuh my mind is what have I done to deserve this I was only 8... what can I possibly done to deserve such a life. In holland I didn't have work or family to supprt me in my undercome. I started a life of cheating and deceiving everyone to survive. I became addicted to sex pornography lies and everything that was bad. I gave myself to every men who wanted to have sex with me They abused me . I only was searching for love . I became addicted to alcohol to drugs to sex. I used everybody . I cheat on the government to get money . I lied about my life. I was in a very bad shape but I could kept up the appearance. I had a double life. during the day I was a very kind youg men and at night I was a hooker . giving my self in darkrooms to one ore more men. I can not tell how much men I had. I became very dirty doing things that only sick people do. I was very pervers and it did,t matter anymore for me. But deep down in my heart I was crying for help ... I was screaming out for love... I wanted to be loved, I want to love. I had this terrible pain in my haert. I went to sleep everynight wishing I was dead and every morning I woke up with this terrible fear and pain in my heart. I had a debt of $ 50.000 I was afraid for bailiff. I never opened my mails afraid for the debt collecting agencys. I had no life . There was a time that all my friend left me because of al my lies a cheating and deceiving everyone. I came home every night and locked myself in my house and crie, taking alcohol and coke to releaf my pain. 3 years ago I could,t take it anymore I felt down at my knees I cried out to GOD ... HELP ME .... I can not live like this anymore. I want a decent life. I like to have a family of my own. I want to be man. I like to have a wife and children . Help me because I don,t want to be a gaymen anymore. Help me with al my addictionprolems. AND HE DID.. It was a long way of healing .. it was not easy BUT jesus saved my life ... I am still in a healing proces I had to learn to love, to trust I had to learn to give, to have faith in HIM, I had to learn to give myself again in a possitive way. I had to learn to let go to my past . I had to learn to forgive. I had to learn to let go aff all pain. it was not easy BUT I HAVE JESUS. HE gave me a beatifull wife and a son. I can love a woman . HE MADE ME A MAN. but still it isn,t easy I don,t have any gayfeelings anymore I don,t have the need to drink or smoke, GOD took that away from me in one day. 13 july 1997 was my big day a day, I will never forget I took JESUS into my life. That day God Spoke to me .. HE told me go and serve ME.. I do have a wife for you . I could't believe my ears... all that time there was someone who has heard my crie for help, there was someone who saw me in pain. there was someone who took all my tears and who knows by every drop of tears why ....I thank God for letting me know HIM. My My wish is for you to give my e_mail adress to the world . I like to get in contact with people who have assimilar experiece and who serve the LORD. I don't know if that is possible but if that is I am thankfull. Psalm 128:4 May the good LORD bless you. Gino Wanga Zuylesteinstraat 17 1333 xz Almere Buiten Tel 036-5490118 Click HERE to return to the edited story Click HERE to create a banner that links to this story! Your e-mail address will be kept private!
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