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As an adolesencts i lived a life of darkness. Despite my heartless, ignorant, criminal ways I found redemption. This is my story. Look into the mind of a Chosen Survivor..... I grew up idolizing the ways of thug life. I wasn't a gangster, I was a middle class white kid without a Dad. I tried imitating the ways of gangsters the way i seen them through T.v. and music. Sure, I tried to do good and even tried going to church with a friend of mine from school. But I found myself going to church on Sunday and doing Lord knows what on Monday. We know that the law is spiritual; but I am unspiritual, sold as a slave to sin. I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. And if I do w hat I do not want to do, I agree that the law is good. As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is the sin living in me. I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carryout out. For what I do is not the good I want to do;nothe evil I do not want to do, this I keep on doing. Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is the sin living in me that does it. So I find this law at work: When I want to do good, evil is right there with me. For in my inner being I delight in God's law' but I see another her law at work in the members of my body, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within my members. What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body of death? Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ Our Lord! So then, I myself in my mind am a slave to God's law, but in the sinful nature a slave to the law of sin. (Romans 7:14-25) Some of you can relate to that. After Fifteen years of being lost it all came to and end after I went to a talent show one night with my best friend. We were rapping at this talent show called the 2 Hype Show. The majority of singers were gospel singers and we were far from that. We had a rap that talked about our problems with the police department and all our lyrics disrespected the Cops. The whole thing was cool though, and then a Pastor who wasn't any older then 21 stepped on stage and performed a gospel rap. Now me, personally I never thought gospel rap could be cool. But this one some of the tightest stuff I had ever heard...and it was lifting up the name of Jesus Christ. But it was rapped to me in a language that I could understand. I approached him after the show because I wanted to hook up and make music with him. Of course the only thing on my mind at the time was money. Instead he gave me his number for bible study. I told him I was going to call but instead I went to a party the next night instead. We were drinking, rapping, and just as it looked like I had control over everything... I got jumped in the street by a Mexican gang of about 10-15 people. It didn't hurt that bad because I was drunk but I still remember most of it. Someone helped me up out of the street getting blood all over him and he helped me into my friends car. I was beat up so bad you couldn't recognize me. The cops showed up after we left t, we got out of t here just in time. I had to work the next morning at my new job, MacDonalds. So you can imagine how fun that was at the register. And what was even worse was people that I knew kept coming in.. talk about embarrassing. Later that week I lost the job because I wasn't moving quick enough. Can you guess why? So, my life sucked. I looked like i had spilled acid all over my face, i now had enemies and on top of that I lost my job. The devil really started speaking to me and making sense then. A few days later I realized t hat I still had the number the Pastor from the talent show had given me. I figured I didn't have anything to loose so I called him. It turns out that night they were having bible study so t hey picked me up. T hey w ere home bible studies and the word of God was broken down to me in a way that I understood it . I kept attending the studies twice a week and I gave my life to the LORD at one of them, Shortly after that I had gotten baptized. I was new! Like a little kid in a sense, I had been Born Again. I can't describe the feeling to you. But when you go through that transformation there is no doubt that God is real and I knew he wanted to do a work with me and use me. So I did exactly w hat Jesus said, I started to deny myself and follow him. I threw away all my old sinful CD's and videos. I stopped watching TV so much and picked up a bible. I stopped chasing after the females and got with Jesus Christ. God showed me so many things that I can never turn my back. I started speaking the word to the kids at school and everyone thought I was crazy. Because 4 months earlier I had gotten arrested for drug charges at the same school. I stopped hanging out wi with my usual friends and grew closer to Christ. I never had a Dad, but God became my Father! Do you know what that feels like? After the things I seen, the things I felt, I could never turn my back. My old life just seemed so dull compared to what God had in store for me. Look up at the heavens and see; gaze at the clouds so high above you. If you sin, how does that affect him? If your sins are many, what t does that do to him? If you are righteous, what do you give him, or what does he receive from your hand? Your wickedness affects only a man like yourself, and your righteousness on only the sons of men. (Job 35:5 -8) Click HERE to return to the edited story Click HERE to create a banner that links to this story! Your e-mail address will be kept private!
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