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My name is Irene, I am a 43 year old Hispanic woman from San Antonio, Texas. I am saved by God's grace, Spirit filled and love the Lord with all my heart. This was not so until a couple of years ago. By the time I was 20 years old I was a drug addict/alcoholic. I had married to get away from home because I was miserable there. The marriage lasted all of 6 weeks. My drug addiction came because I had some very traumatic things happen in my childhood that I could not deal with. After a failed marriage and a lousy home life I ran away from home. I took off hitchhiking. Never had I lived in the city, I was a countrygirl. At 18 I started working in a bar and got high everyday all day long. At 19 I was living on the streets in whatever city and state I arrived at. My sole goal was to get high no matter what the cost. I tried going home at 21 to find things even worse, but I got pregnant out of wedlock. I really thought that having a baby was going to change my life for the better. When my daughter was 2 months old I got back into the drug scene and started getting real suicidal. Had been before but not to this extreme. I got put into a mental facility and that was the beginning of my life as a mental patient. I had another daughter out of wedlok at 25. By age 27 I was receiving shock treatments at a mental health facility because the psychiatrist didn't know what else to do to help me. Nothing helped. At 30 I tried crack for the first time. The first time I tried it I was hooked. I did anyhting and everything to get another high. If I thought I was messed up before, I was wrong. It got so bad I had to leave my girls behind because I did not want to destroy their lives along with mine. I went out hitching again. In Florida I went to a beach and walked for hours. I had tried so many times by this time to end my life by taking pills and it hadn't worked so this time I cut my wrist hoping this would be the solution to my ending my miserable life. Well all I did was bleed alot and ended up in another loony ward. But this time all this led me to a program where I met a lady that spoke to me about Jesus. I did not know much about Him, I was brought up Catholic if that's what you want to call it. I can almost count the times I went to church in my youth. I was invited to church in Jacksonville, Florida, I stayed there 5 years. I allowed the devil gradually towards my fifth year to start creeping in and eventually left God's will. I still love the pastor I had then but when I messed up and went back to drinking she did not try to counsel me and take me under her wing to help me, instead I was truly hurt by her approach in the matter and decided this wasn't what I wanted. The minute I got back home I started getting high, and looking up my old party buddies. After a month of that I couldn't deal with my life so I committed myself to a mental facility for help which led to my being institutionalized for 3 years at the state hospital. They kept me so drugged up that I became comfortable being insane for a long time. One day I realized that I needed to change. I finally got out and started going to a daytreatment center through this hospital. I stayed eith them for 2 and a half years. I had been back on drugs during that time. Finally I went to AA. I got sober there and made every meeting possible. I started doing better but was yet not satisfied in my heart. I had been in college for a little while in Florida and decided to go back and continue. At this time I was on SSI because I was considered Manic Depressive/Bipolar/Schizo Effective. Those were their labels for me. But 2 years ago I made up my mind to quit the medication because I started having faith that God was going to forgive me and accept me back. In my going to college I met a lady in one of my classes who started sharing scripture with me. We would spend a lot of time talking. After a month she let me know that she was a pastor. Talk about shocked. I thank God for her. She is not my pastor, but introduced me to the lady who is my pastor. Some people will say a female shouldn't do this and that but I have come to realize that God wants to use anyone who yields themselves to Him completely. I came to the ministry I'm in July of 1998. God has delivered me from all those things from the past. I have been totally drug free for a couple of years. Have not had to seek a psychitrist either for those couple of years. Today God is using me to carry His message to a lost and dying world. He had to show me that He was my only hope in life. Today He is my everything. Every dream, every goal, every aspiration I have in life is to please God and I know that everything else will fall in line. I am a deaconness in the church, I sing in the church choir. See I sing because I know what i'm singing about. It's not just words, it's an expression of my love and gratitude for my Lord and Savior. Yes I have had to go through some ups and downs since I got into this ministry, but God keeps on bringing me out victoriously. I have never, ever been so happy in my life as I am today. For I know that I never want to go back to any part of my past life. Oh, today I am a poet. God inspires me to write poetry. I have a collection of almost 70 poems. I have the opportunity once in a while to read one of my poems on a gospel radio station, in the church, wherever they allow me to. God is truly moving in my life and I am allowing Him to. I no longer look at my past with regrets or resentments because now I realize God had a calling on my life since day 1 and the devil knew it, so he tried to destroy my life, my mind, whatever he could so I would never reach the place I'm at today. I thank and praise God each and everyday for where He has brought me from and I believe that if He did all that for me, He can surely do it for somebody else. Much love in Jesus Name, Irene Lara AKA Charity ______________________________________________________ Get Your Private, Free Email at http://www.hotmail.com Click HERE to return to the edited story Click HERE to create a banner that links to this story! Your e-mail address will be kept private!
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