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Life can be so hard and it can be such a blessing, but if there is one thing I learned it is to take the bad experiences and see if I can learn from them. Sucide was my thinking patter growing up. All I kept thinking was oh my father was a drunk he beat my mom. Oh..what a bad life I don't deserve to live. Now I do realize that yeah so my father had some things he needed to deal with, yeah I saw some really bad stuff, but was it worth all the worry I put my mom through. Was it worth hurting her for my own sake when she was the one beaten. Well I won't say I haven't blamed God for what happened and I won't say that I wasn't very selfish because I was. Growing up I was seeing pscychologists, taking anti depressants, diagnosed with severe depression, diagnosed with bipolar. One day I decide to stop my games and start praying. That is when I said, Lord take my life and make it yours, change it and shape it and make it whole again. I needed to know that I was loved and that day is when the Lord opened my eyes to see that things that had happened were blessings in disguise. My father died in a car crash that night he invited me to sleep over, God saved me when my mom said no because she knew he would drink. My mom met a new guy who loves her unconditionally, he gave us a house we could not afford with out the help of my new father, with the money that my father gave me when I was 18 I could go to a private school where I was apart of other brother and sister's in the Lord and could share His word, and now I understand that someone was looking out for me all along I just couldn't see it. God was beside me He took care of me. Now the pieces to the puzzle fit together. Now I know I'm not the only one who has problems, God helped me to see that. If you are thinking about suicide or have felt the pain that you thought no one feels. Think that you are the only one who has a particular problem pray about it and talk about it to God. Talk to a friend, don't hold it in. You're life is planned out and you will just go through these hard times, things you never thought would happen to you, but God knows you can handle it and maybe touch someone's life with your story. Experience God's love and open your eyes to the things that God puts there for you. Sometimes we have to experience things for ourselves to really get the jist of what other's try to warn us about or tell us. I know God is watching over you and in His time will show you His way of loving you. Thank you for reading this. This is with love to you. Click HERE to return to the edited story Click HERE to create a banner that links to this story! Your e-mail address will be kept private!
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These testimonies are not intended to provide |
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